What do girls know?

Sunday, November 14th, 2004

I’m not a messy person, but I’m not the tidiest either. I am one of those people that doesn’t put books back but will leave them open at pages, or I’ll see a book on a shelf and think “I might want to read that soon” so I’ll take it down and add it to a pile. I am organised, if piles are a recognised filing system. (I worked out today I’ve lived alone for 17 years – longer than I lived at home – so I think I’ve done well to survive this long).

Anyway, today, faced with another brick wall of writer’s block I finally decided I had to tidy up, convinced as I was that it was the mess that was preventing me from working.

And I discovered something amazing.

All these years, girlfriends and female acquaintances have insisted to me that it would “only take five minutes” to tidy up and I’ve dismissed them usually with a “this isn’t messy, it’s just organised chaos and if you loved me you’d put up with it” argument.

But you know what? Turns out they were right. It does only take five minutes. Who’d have thought it?

Which reminds me – I found this the other day, made me titter.

NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!!!

ALL ARE WELCOME

OPEN TO MEN ONLY

Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants sign up early and get a discount on registration

The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include:

DAY ONE

HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS

Step by step guide with slide presentation

TOILET ROLLS- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?

Roundtable discussion

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR

Practising with hamper (Pictures and graphics)

DISHES & SILVERWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?

Debate among a panel of experts.

LOSS OF VIRILITY

Losing the remote control to your significant other – Help line and support groups

LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS

Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming – Open forum

DAY TWO

EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?

Group discussion and role play

HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH

PowerPoint presentation

REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST

Real life testimonial from the one man who did

IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?

Driving simulation

HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION

Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques

REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & PHONING WHEN YOU’RE GOING TO BE LATE

Bring your calendar or PDA to class

GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME

Individual counsellors available

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: