I’m not a messy person, but I’m not the tidiest either. I am one of those people that doesn’t put books back but will leave them open at pages, or I’ll see a book on a shelf and think “I might want to read that soon” so I’ll take it down and add it to a pile. I am organised, if piles are a recognised filing system. (I worked out today I’ve lived alone for 17 years – longer than I lived at home – so I think I’ve done well to survive this long).
Anyway, today, faced with another brick wall of writer’s block I finally decided I had to tidy up, convinced as I was that it was the mess that was preventing me from working.
And I discovered something amazing.
All these years, girlfriends and female acquaintances have insisted to me that it would “only take five minutes” to tidy up and I’ve dismissed them usually with a “this isn’t messy, it’s just organised chaos and if you loved me you’d put up with it” argument.
But you know what? Turns out they were right. It does only take five minutes. Who’d have thought it?
Which reminds me – I found this the other day, made me titter.
NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!!!
ALL ARE WELCOME
OPEN TO MEN ONLY
Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants sign up early and get a discount on registration
The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include:
HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS
Step by step guide with slide presentation
TOILET ROLLS- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
Practising with hamper (Pictures and graphics)
DISHES & SILVERWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
Debate among a panel of experts.
LOSS OF VIRILITY
Losing the remote control to your significant other – Help line and support groups
LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming – Open forum
EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
Group discussion and role play
HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH
REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real life testimonial from the one man who did
IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques
REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & PHONING WHEN YOU’RE GOING TO BE LATE
Bring your calendar or PDA to class
GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME
Individual counsellors available