Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: The Abridged Script | The Editing Room

Thursday, June 19th, 2008

This abridged script of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull pretty much sums up my feelings about the film:

HARRISON gets away, only to find himself in the middle of a NUCLEAR TEST SITE that is apparently located within walking distance of AREA 51.

HARRISON FORD

Holy shit, a nuclear bomb! I’ll hide in this lead-lined fridge to protect myself from the radiation that will permeate the area shortly after the ten-million degree heat generated by the blast is done obliterating every single object in a 5 mile radius!

Somehow, this WORKS. HARRISON FORD emerges from the fridge with his face covered in black soot, holding a sign that reads ‘ouch.’

Read in full, especially the bit where

SHIA LEBEOUF flies up into the FUCKING JUNGLE and swings like FUCKING TARZAN along the FUCKING VINES with a FUCKING ARMY of CGI FUCKING MONKEYS. That actually FUCKING HAPPENS.

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